Today is my oldest son's 25th birthday!
Happy birthday to my sweet baby who has grown into such a handsome man.
I have contemplated all the gifts that motherhood has brought into my life. Of course, I could ponder instead the hereditary insanity that you get from your children, however that is a story for another day!
I learned about love from my children. I learned that it is okay to make mistakes...and that one is still lovable in spite of mistakes or supposed imperfections. My children frequently tell me how weird I am. I have learned to laugh at this and to even view it as a compliment. It means that I am being my authentic self with them. The real me. And that me is loved and accepted--just like I have loved and accepted my children. I have learned to let go from them and to just roll more with the waves of life and of my emotions.
I feel amazingly blessed because my son still wants to spend time with me. (All my children do, actually.) He talks to me almost everyday after one or the other of us comes home from work to tell me about his day and to ask me about mine. He takes me to lunch and shopping for my birthday and Mother's Day. He attempts to share his culinary experiments with me...with mixed results! How cute, amazing and wonderful is that? (Just please avoid mentioning cute to him. It's not manly enough, or something. He can only handle so much of my fussing.)
Thanks for being my son, thanks for loving me and thanks for sharing this crazy adventure with me! I love you.
Dec 11, 2011
Dec 10, 2011
Dreams for the New Year
As I have grown thru this last year and maybe even matured somewhat, I have come to realize the importance of dreaming. Dreaming my life into existance. Dreaming dreams that bring me joy and happiness.
As ever, my ego expectations show up and I think that things have changed between me and my mother. Alas and alack! This is far from the reality. I bump into the truth, which is that there is still a distance separating us, she emotionally favors others in the family and I am typically disappointed in my expectations. What I have come to realize is two-part. I may possibly always want my mother to show me some LOVE, which rarely comes and I must own my life and my dreams.
I have been resting with my dreams. The feminine way of manifesting in life is to "be" with yourself. Then in this amazing state of being and awareness of your own be-ingness, you receive inspiration and take Divine Right Action out of that inspiration. You have far better chances of reaching the desired outcome this way. I have been immersing myself in my dreams and the feelings I have dreaming my dreams.
The life I manifest may be different from my dreams because I am willing to allow the Universe to step in and bless me.
As I was listening to a woman talk about abundance and prosperity, I suddenly felt exactly what she was talking about. She said true abundance is feeling as though (and may I add believing and knowing in your bones) that EVERYTHING is possible. It is only for us to dream and believe and love our everything into being.
This year, I feel differently about my life, about my dreams, about my family of origin. I love my family. And now, I feel as though I can act. My father understands me perhaps better than I suspect. He gave me permission to follow and live my dreams.
Maybe I am finally brave enough to spread my wings and fly.
It's never too late.
Be well and the Best and the Brightest of Wishes and Dreams.
As ever, my ego expectations show up and I think that things have changed between me and my mother. Alas and alack! This is far from the reality. I bump into the truth, which is that there is still a distance separating us, she emotionally favors others in the family and I am typically disappointed in my expectations. What I have come to realize is two-part. I may possibly always want my mother to show me some LOVE, which rarely comes and I must own my life and my dreams.
I have been resting with my dreams. The feminine way of manifesting in life is to "be" with yourself. Then in this amazing state of being and awareness of your own be-ingness, you receive inspiration and take Divine Right Action out of that inspiration. You have far better chances of reaching the desired outcome this way. I have been immersing myself in my dreams and the feelings I have dreaming my dreams.
The life I manifest may be different from my dreams because I am willing to allow the Universe to step in and bless me.
As I was listening to a woman talk about abundance and prosperity, I suddenly felt exactly what she was talking about. She said true abundance is feeling as though (and may I add believing and knowing in your bones) that EVERYTHING is possible. It is only for us to dream and believe and love our everything into being.
This year, I feel differently about my life, about my dreams, about my family of origin. I love my family. And now, I feel as though I can act. My father understands me perhaps better than I suspect. He gave me permission to follow and live my dreams.
Maybe I am finally brave enough to spread my wings and fly.
It's never too late.
Be well and the Best and the Brightest of Wishes and Dreams.
Nov 27, 2011
Musings of late
So much has been going on, things that have been pushing my edges and taking me out of my comfort zone.
I've chosen to see this as an opportunity to exercise mastery over my own life. This has meant really looking at my internal landscape and finding a dry desert rather than a lush oasis. I've also come to an interesting conclusion that allowing fears and other issues to rule my life is rather costly. I read an article here that opened a door for me to ponder these concepts.
I am pushing through some issues/belief systems/old programs and I am trusting that there is a safe place for me to land on the other side.
I love the vision process created by Colette Baron-Reid, which you can find on her site:
http://www.colettebaronreid.com/
Look for her book called 'The Map' and 'call in your bird.' I love it. She calls it the "Harry Potter" of self-help! While you are there, ask a question and pull a wisdom card for the day. :) (Harry Potter and I are great friends. I watched those movies once a month, for 7 months as I worked thru my grief. And I've read the books twice. What can I say?)
ALL of my life is Sacred. ALL of it...even the parts that I have judged and held as less than.
I have a session scheduled with my tantra coach soon and I am so looking forward to communing with her! I know this is me with growing pains right now. And while I dislike the uncomfortable feelings I have been experiencing lately, I have realized that underneath it all I actually feel excited for new things to show up!
Here's to The New and The Now.
Be well.
I've chosen to see this as an opportunity to exercise mastery over my own life. This has meant really looking at my internal landscape and finding a dry desert rather than a lush oasis. I've also come to an interesting conclusion that allowing fears and other issues to rule my life is rather costly. I read an article here that opened a door for me to ponder these concepts.
I am pushing through some issues/belief systems/old programs and I am trusting that there is a safe place for me to land on the other side.
I love the vision process created by Colette Baron-Reid, which you can find on her site:
http://www.colettebaronreid.com/
Look for her book called 'The Map' and 'call in your bird.' I love it. She calls it the "Harry Potter" of self-help! While you are there, ask a question and pull a wisdom card for the day. :) (Harry Potter and I are great friends. I watched those movies once a month, for 7 months as I worked thru my grief. And I've read the books twice. What can I say?)
ALL of my life is Sacred. ALL of it...even the parts that I have judged and held as less than.
I have a session scheduled with my tantra coach soon and I am so looking forward to communing with her! I know this is me with growing pains right now. And while I dislike the uncomfortable feelings I have been experiencing lately, I have realized that underneath it all I actually feel excited for new things to show up!
Here's to The New and The Now.
Be well.
Nov 24, 2011
What You Appreciate
What we appreciate comes back to us!
So, on this day of giving thanks and appreciation, I claim and declare that there is so very much for which to appreciate. It would be a big, Big, BIG list if I tried to list it all!
I feel very grateful for my time at YogaWorks, which will be coming to an end soon. I am holding a space for the perfect place to land! I know it's coming and I give thanks!
I am thankful for my family and my loving, wonderful children. I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for my body and my senses and my health. My body gives me so much and allows me to experience joy, happiness and pleasure in life.
I am grateful for my home and my "stuff." I do, indeed, have enough to take good care of myself and my family. (I am also thankful that I chose to shed a lot of stuff, so there is less to clean!)
I am thankful for Callie, for providing furry amusement for the family. Even if she tries to sleep on my pillow. :)
Wishing all a safe, happy and abundant Thanksgiving!
Be well in all things.
So, on this day of giving thanks and appreciation, I claim and declare that there is so very much for which to appreciate. It would be a big, Big, BIG list if I tried to list it all!
I feel very grateful for my time at YogaWorks, which will be coming to an end soon. I am holding a space for the perfect place to land! I know it's coming and I give thanks!
I am thankful for my family and my loving, wonderful children. I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for my body and my senses and my health. My body gives me so much and allows me to experience joy, happiness and pleasure in life.
I am grateful for my home and my "stuff." I do, indeed, have enough to take good care of myself and my family. (I am also thankful that I chose to shed a lot of stuff, so there is less to clean!)
I am thankful for Callie, for providing furry amusement for the family. Even if she tries to sleep on my pillow. :)
Wishing all a safe, happy and abundant Thanksgiving!
Be well in all things.
Nov 21, 2011
Internal Resources
Well, I haven't paid much attention to this blog ~ my virtual journal ~ for such a long while. One never knows how grief will take them, even when it is somewhat expected.
Gran's death created such a vacuum in my life. And I was blessed in my gran's very existence and I was equally blessed in her passing. She left me some wonderful gifts. It was simply challenging at the time receive it all. Gran was a living reflection of unconditional love. What she taught me, I applied in my life. Where Gran left off, my children took over. So, I have been raised by some amazingly loving people!
I have been taking stock of my resources, my internal ones. And what I have discovered is that I have worked myself silly over the last weeks and months, long before Gran passed.
This has cut me off from my senses and the power of sensuality, from my creativity, from my joy and enthusiasm for life, from my naturally perky nature. Oh, it comes out to play from time to time...just nothing consistent. My guitar has collected dust (or would, except my daughter plays it), my pencils are still in their case, the paper unused. I currently lack my customary grace and tolerance in dealing with others. I work to muster up the energy for exercise and even to cook a decent meal.
I began to question when and how this shift took place...
I stayed in my present employment for far too long. This is observational.
I feel beyond tired.
I slept 11 hours Friday night and 10 on Saturday.
I am taking steps to remedy this. I am actually looking forward to what may come from these changes. It is time and more.
Sleep is my new religion. xD Self-care a daily requirement. And the cultivation of pleasure in life is a new pursuit!
Be well!
Gran's death created such a vacuum in my life. And I was blessed in my gran's very existence and I was equally blessed in her passing. She left me some wonderful gifts. It was simply challenging at the time receive it all. Gran was a living reflection of unconditional love. What she taught me, I applied in my life. Where Gran left off, my children took over. So, I have been raised by some amazingly loving people!
I have been taking stock of my resources, my internal ones. And what I have discovered is that I have worked myself silly over the last weeks and months, long before Gran passed.
This has cut me off from my senses and the power of sensuality, from my creativity, from my joy and enthusiasm for life, from my naturally perky nature. Oh, it comes out to play from time to time...just nothing consistent. My guitar has collected dust (or would, except my daughter plays it), my pencils are still in their case, the paper unused. I currently lack my customary grace and tolerance in dealing with others. I work to muster up the energy for exercise and even to cook a decent meal.
I began to question when and how this shift took place...
I stayed in my present employment for far too long. This is observational.
I feel beyond tired.
I slept 11 hours Friday night and 10 on Saturday.
I am taking steps to remedy this. I am actually looking forward to what may come from these changes. It is time and more.
Sleep is my new religion. xD Self-care a daily requirement. And the cultivation of pleasure in life is a new pursuit!
Be well!
Nov 13, 2011
To Your Beauty and Your Health
rms beauty
I cannot say enough about these wonderful, natural products. I love, Love, LOVE the living luminizer and the "un" cover-up. A little goes a long way!
rmsbeauty.com
Living Libations
I had a wonderful dental visit, all thanks to Living Libations tooth products. My dentist told me that my mouth was beautiful and that I have the gum tissue of a 16 year old. How amazing is that? Especially since I am far from 16 years old. :) You really only use 1 drop at a time and the results are tremendous.
I love the 'Best Skin Ever' for moisturizing and for cleansing...Chocolate for the body and Seabuckthorn for the face. It keeps my skin soft and my lips plump (the chocolate kind) and diffuses the lines around my eyes.
I don't usually advertise for others, I just feel that healthy products for personal care is incredibly important. All the toxins in the regular stuff ages our skin and poisons our bodies! Our bodies deserve the best care and as much love as we can give them.
Check out: livinglibations.com
Much love!
What will it be?
I've been in such a strange place lately. It is coming upon the first holidays without Gran! I never know when sad is coming to visit. I usually close the door and attempt to push it away. But lately, I am learning that it's not helping me to move through my feelings.
I watched 'Pay It Forward' to get myself to cry. Wow, I really don't like that movie for that one reason. I always cry. Well, ok, I cried both times I watched it.
Work is strange. I have outgrown the place and have begun applying for new positions. We shall see what comes of this.
What I do understand, though, is that I would love to make a huge shift. I just don't know how to get from where I am now to where I would love to be.
I've been contemplating my "why" behind my desires. The reason that lights me up. The words that reflect the essence of my feelings. The visions of what my life would look like if I actually received my desires. It is a new practice.
I love the idea of connecting to my senses, including my intuition and the feeling of saying "Yes!" to life. I am willing to dream and yet, I feel afraid to dream.
But that won't stop me.
Here's to the New!
I watched 'Pay It Forward' to get myself to cry. Wow, I really don't like that movie for that one reason. I always cry. Well, ok, I cried both times I watched it.
Work is strange. I have outgrown the place and have begun applying for new positions. We shall see what comes of this.
What I do understand, though, is that I would love to make a huge shift. I just don't know how to get from where I am now to where I would love to be.
I've been contemplating my "why" behind my desires. The reason that lights me up. The words that reflect the essence of my feelings. The visions of what my life would look like if I actually received my desires. It is a new practice.
I love the idea of connecting to my senses, including my intuition and the feeling of saying "Yes!" to life. I am willing to dream and yet, I feel afraid to dream.
But that won't stop me.
Here's to the New!
Jun 8, 2011
Beauty Cleanse
I made a 21 day commitment to a beauty cleanse.
Today, I have the opportunity to clear a sacred space for my contemplations.
This is a good thing, and timely too. I hold myself back...I have told myself I can't have what I want and dreams don't come true, only in fairy tales. Death has a way of giving permission, so I am going to accept that and figure things out. Starting with my un-beautiful thoughts.
Gandhi says that happiness is when what you think, say and do are in harmony. This sort of happiness is something I have long desired and sometimes, I really do experience it. Now I wish for it to expand.
Take good care!
~M
Today, I have the opportunity to clear a sacred space for my contemplations.
This is a good thing, and timely too. I hold myself back...I have told myself I can't have what I want and dreams don't come true, only in fairy tales. Death has a way of giving permission, so I am going to accept that and figure things out. Starting with my un-beautiful thoughts.
Gandhi says that happiness is when what you think, say and do are in harmony. This sort of happiness is something I have long desired and sometimes, I really do experience it. Now I wish for it to expand.
Take good care!
~M
Jun 7, 2011
Such a Long Time
I haven't posted in so long! And so much has happened...I found that I just couldn't move into a space to share.
Gran passed away in January. That I was able to be present during her transition was amazing. She honored us all by allowing us to be a part of her experience. It was one of the most beautiful, loving and profound things that I have ever experienced.
At first, I thought that my heart broke completely and I would never be the same.
Then I realized that one of Gran's gifts to me was this: my heart was completely broken open to receive more Love.
Now I know that I really will never be the same again. It's just not possible to go back to the way I once was.
The memorial is coming up soon; we've all needed this long to adjust and to create a relationship with the Invisible.
I love you, Gran.
xoxo
Take good care. :)
Gran passed away in January. That I was able to be present during her transition was amazing. She honored us all by allowing us to be a part of her experience. It was one of the most beautiful, loving and profound things that I have ever experienced.
At first, I thought that my heart broke completely and I would never be the same.
Then I realized that one of Gran's gifts to me was this: my heart was completely broken open to receive more Love.
Now I know that I really will never be the same again. It's just not possible to go back to the way I once was.
The memorial is coming up soon; we've all needed this long to adjust and to create a relationship with the Invisible.
I love you, Gran.
xoxo
Take good care. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)