Taking Myself Too Seriously

Sometimes, it is easy to take life very seriously. Seriously!

Many times, I approach my life as an observer. I just watch or witness what is taking place--including my own actions and my own feelings--with no judgment or attachment to what is taking place.

What I have been noticing lately is fear around making mistakes, fear around being vulnerable because I make mistakes or because I am human, and a desire to shut down or push people away. Or worse yet, to hide behind intellect or wit or being Miss Efficiency.

The thing is I am probably not going to stop making mistakes; it is part of what most of us call life. That is how most people learn. What I am choosing to do is to rename what I used to call mistakes. I can call it experimenting. I can call it making assessments and adjustments. I can call it a learning moment. I can laugh at the things I do because it is really okay to experiment. I don't know what I don't know. I have the wonderful opportunity to figure it all out as I go along; I may as well enjoy myself while I'm at it. I usually do anyway...I have just recently found myself in a brand new experience being bombarded with all sorts of new things to learn and to remember. I have questioned myself on more than one occasion. And I have been feeling a little crunchy around the edges.

Making a "mistake" means to simply miss the mark. Or to miss a note in the melody line in the song that is my life. Is the whole song ruined because of one sour note? NO! Am I going to hit more than one of those sour notes? Probably--after all, it is a very long song (my life). And that is okay. As far as vulnerability goes, we are all vulnerable at one time or another; we are all human. When we are most vulnerable, we are also our strongest...because we can't get any lower than that low point of vulnerability. When I am vulnerable, I suspect that I am my most authentic self...there is nowhere to hide...and it brings me round to loving myself once more.

I am learning to say, "So What?" And I am learning to like it. So what if someone doesn't like me because I had a learning moment? So what if someone doesn't like me because I cut off most of my hair? So what if someone doesn't like me because I am short, I have tattoos, or because there is a space between my two front teeth? So what if there is clean laundry piled up in my bedroom that I haven't had time to put away yet?

Really, there are more important questions to be asking myself! Do I like myself? Am I having fun and enjoying myself? Am I getting the gifts and the lessons from my experiences? Am I walking away a better person, with more insight, compassion and gentleness for myself and others?

A good clue into my mental state is whether or not I can laugh at something. If I can laugh at it, I am healed or am healing it. Life is pretty funny. I am really amusing! And laughter is a powerful healer and transformational agent. Perception is a funny thing. Perception is reality--it is what I believe and what I, myself, make real. It can change in a split second!

So, today is a split second, laugh at the drop of a hat, kind of day!

Be well!