I have learned that it can actually feel pretty good to apologize, to confront my fears and to be honest about what I need. Admittedly, I still need some practice.
I have discovered that I settle for less because of my own fears and because I don't take action to facilitate that which I desire. And because of the fear, I waited to see if things could or would get better so that I didn't have to address my issues.
It is okay to allow others to see that I have needs and feelings. That I am sometimes messy, sometimes a walking mass of contradictions, spiritual being have very human experiences.
It is good to live a fear. I found out that good things can come of it. Really, it is not so bad to find out that the very thing you have feared you are living. It stops being scary and then you can figure out what to do. (Usually, things aren't as they seem at first glance; fear works that way. It is just an illusion!)You can't steer a parked car...and fear tends to keep us stuck.
It also helps to relax into my life...fear is constricting and doesn't do much to help me relax. I used to think that I only had to learn to relax into pleasure. Silly me. Life is pleasure, even when I am feeling something that I think I don't want to be feeling, it is still good. It is letting me know that I am really here, in my body doing my thing. So, I am going to practice breathing and relaxing into my life. Let's see what happens. (The easiest and cheapest form of therapy known to man is just paying attention to your own breath!)
Wow! This has been one educational, enlightening and tiring weekend. :)
Things are getting better. Life is Good and Very Good.
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