Hall of Mirrors

It is interesting when I step back and look at things. I've been simply paying attention to how things are in my life, hoping that I could, in fact, see something that I had been overlooking before...because, of course, I keep looking into the reflection that life offers me and I haven't been willing to meet some aspect of myself there. And I started wanting to know what I was missing.

I've felt for a while now that all the ways that my life doesn't "work" for me are ways in which I am still experiencing the illusion of separation. At times, the mirror shows me the violence that I still offer myself. Maybe not the violence of the past, just ways in which I don't honor ALL my feelings -- a true reflection of Self-Love -- or I refuse the reflection of worthiness or divinity that lives within and IS me.

I've contemplated this before:  I chose to come here, to incarnate, and to have experiences here. I understand now that no matter what choices I made, I still would have been having the same types of experiences to heal whatever I came here to heal and to learn whatever I came here to learn. The externals of the story don't really matter. Instead of my current situation, it could have been a huge health crisis. Or major relationship problems. Or whatever.

Really, it is simply the continuing story of coming home to Love.

And of healing the illusion of separation. I've been wandering in the illusion of separation, and there are many illusions. Like wandering in a hall of mirrors that only show you untruths. 

And, in some strange way, it is stopping my disagreement with Source. So, instead of my usual disagreement, I can choose to agree with Source that I am worthy. I can choose to agree with Source that my current situation is to lead me back even deeper into Love, to see that my life experiences and the choices that I have made really are perfect. Each and every time life "happens."

Some part of me has wanted to just give up, lately. Just a part or aspect of me. I am willing to let that part go now. That part has felt exhausted...part of the efforting and diffuse energies, chasing what I think I need. I wish I could easily rest in trust and surrender.

Thankfully, each inhale is a fresh start.