I feel really inspired by those who live fully and embrace each moment. Even the ones that suck!
The only prison is the mind and the only one who holds me back is me. That is the truth for me.
My daughter is going through some crazy teenage angst thing and I just get to sit and watch her figure it all out. She has such capacity for joy and yet she chooses to feel unhappy...and I just don't get it! It is driving me crazy...only when I think about it too much. (I promise, I am really trying not to think too much about this and just show up being a loving and understanding mother. Not that I think I am doing such a great job at that, mind you. I am just making an effort.)
Every time I think that I am stuck it is just a moment that I am feeling my own fear. I am simply standing at the edge of my next unfolding here in this life. I guess I must find it scary, when the reality of my life seems to be that the only constant in it is CHANGE!
I really wish that I could just be outrageous, larger-than-life, "in your face," and out there, all the time. That would only mean that I was just being me. And yet, I can't seem to do that consistently. I think that maybe I am really going to have to do things now--not waiting for some magic moment--even though I am probably going to do them badly at first. I guess there is so much about life that is all about practice, Practice, PRACTICE! :) I am never going to get better at anything without actually engaging in these activities that seem to push my buttons. So what if I mess up?
I am rethinking some things...releasing the old b.s. that no longer applies and no longer works for me.
I am saying yes to vulnerability, to exposing myself in all the best ways (!), and becoming more and more fully present in all my moments.
3 comments:
Gretchen said...
How interesting! I think- to varying degrees- we all have some of that lingering angst, right? What a wonderful opportunity to shed whatever's left of it (if there IS any!) and to celebrate all that you have conquered. That alone, is a gift to sweet Miss B. I think she is one lucky girl.
love, peace, blessings!
GG
I am learning to metabolize my fears...my body still has stuff stored in it and boy, has it been speaking! :) I hope that all the shite I am working through benefits my daughter so she doesn't have to do this, too! I am soooo not feeling this angst stuff...in the meantime, I am doing my best. :)
love to you, and many blessings!
~MM
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