Oh My!

It has just been sooo long since I have posted.

So much in of my inner landscape has changed. The externals have yet to catch up!

So much of my past desire to change others has had a great deal to do with owning my own feelings. That was something that I was unwilling to do. I have experienced freedom from this old pattern by connecting with myself, with my own body and then ultimately with my feelings. By seating my energy and my awareness deeply in my own body, my experience of life has changed!

I have found that if I think negative thoughts, I generate negative emotions. Not so much fun! Anything that allows me to become more conscious with my thoughts is quite a blessing.

Life gets complicated, sometimes. I think it is a lot about "stuff" for me. I am choosing to embrace simplicity. The pace of my life is changing and slowing. Hopefully, this will lead to a new expression of my creativity and my own sweet self. To aid me in this new adventure, I am creating an inspiration journal. I have found inspiration in some of the oddest places...if something speaks to me, I take delight!

I am learning also not to fight my nature. Who gives a flying f_ck what others think? If I am living my life open-hearted and with integrity and I am true to myself that is really all that matters.

December 3 marks my 3rd year anniversary of practicing White Tantra under the guidance of my teacher, Marielle. This has been a huge gift and blessing to me. I have softened and grown and changed in love because of this practice. I attended a puja last night. The experience was wonderful...and I got to walk away with a beautiful sense of love in all of my awareness--down to my cells--so that I can offer that to others.

Hug someone and really connect to them with an open heart and feel them totally relax!

Be well. Keep warm.

love, Love, LOVE

...as if...

If I live "as if" my only environment is one of Unconditional Love...

I Am fertile ground, planting and nurturing seeds of love, creativity, wisdom and strength.

I Am as wide, as high, as open, as unbound and as vast as the Universe.

I Am Mother/Father/God made manifest as Marnie.

I Am Beauty, Truth, Harmony and Love.

I Am a river that has no end.

I Am the hands of the Creator.

I Am in the hands of the Creator.

I Am breathing in the Universal Love of the Mother of Us All with each inhale.

As If...

What would your life be like if your only environment was one of Unconditional Love?

How would you feel?

How would you live your life?

How would you treat yourself?

Live today "as if" your environment was one of Unconditional Love...and make it so.

(Check out Michael Beckwith and Life Visioning!)

http://www.agapelive.com/bookstore/

Thoughts for the Day...Compilation

"Your strength is real. Your weakness is the illusion." ~ Alan Cohen

"The human race...has unquestionably one really effective weapon--laughter." ~ Mark Twain

"Your experience of reality is simply a matter of emphasis." ~ Alan Cohen

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." ~ Buddha

"Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment." ~ Sidney Poitier

"Now all that is left is for you to become yourself." ~ Johan Wolfgang von Goethe

"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out." ~ Michael Burke

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!" ~ Lawrence "Yogi" Berra

"Be creative. Use unconventional thinking. And have the guts to carry it out." ~ Lee Iacocca

"The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer." ~ Paul Hawken

"Do not wait for the ending. The middle is usually more important." ~ Alan Cohen

"The world can change in an instant. So can the way you choose to see it. Why not choose to see the good in yourself and others." ~ Bob Perks

New Cycles...

Healing cycles generally last about 8 weeks! (I did not know this, my spiritual coach told me this...)I am finishing up a cycle and lovely things are manifesting!

A new dress, a session with a client, a facial, my daughter's school transfer, a great parking place at LAX, a lovely evening in Santa Monica...all just magically happening.

Life is feeling really good. Even when stuff happens that DOESN'T feel so great, it still feels good. Life is still good.

I am learning that loving myself, even when things are not the way I would like is key to this goodness.

I wonder what the next phase of my life holds; I am really looking forward to the adventure!

Choices, Choices, Choices

Just like the story of the two wolves, there are always different choices available in terms of how we choose to "see" our lives.

I think each day about what I want to give to Mother Earth. Am I choosing to give love and healing energy or fear and pain and more destruction?

I feel as though I am walking a line between the two choices...I can stand between them and watch. I can become more aware.

I can make better choices.

Everything runs in cycles. I plant the seeds for each new cycle in my life. What kind of seeds have I been planting? Have I completed past cycles? Have I been able to break the old patterns of dysfunction so that my now and future creations are clear?

I have been having some acupuncture treatments this week. My friend uses N.A.E.T. protocols and an amazing computer that can pick up sensitivities to things like my own neuro-peptides(!), so we are able to venture into the realm of emotions and allergies. These past couple of days have really stirred the pot to bring things up for release. I am very thankful for the opportunity to work with Kathleen!

I have become so aware lately that everything in my life has led to this time, that my life is unfolding beautifully and that I am right on time! This has led me to feeling more and more that I create my own life. I create my own joy and everything supports me in this if this is what I believe. It has taken me some time to get here...and now that I AM here, it is feeling pretty good. :)

Life is delicious! Really!

July Flew By...

and What a Month it was!

So much has shifted around for me. I have learned an awful lot about myself. And yes, I think some of it was kind of awful! (Really, it is all good and there were just some things I needed to learn!)

I still had some anger about childhood experiences. I had a sense of entitlement because of past hurt. I had a hard shell around me that made it hard to get too close. I didn't own my looks and that kept me from feeling whole within myself. I was still complaining from time to time. That is victim mentality. I was also experiencing doubt and resistance. Also the victim stuff. Oh, not in a huge obvious way and not in every area of my life--just enough for ME to know that things were not in alignment.

Fundamentally, I do understand that I am a black or white kind of person. This is not a bad thing. I have the ability to say that either something is working or it is not! I tend to be blunt with my words and yet my goal is to make things better! I am also fundamentally a kind person. I am willing to move into the space where I see that my nature is a good thing, a gift and a blessing. Right now, I am just resting with this new understanding about me.

When I start to feel small, tight, narrow and sort of OCD, I can remember that I am really as big as the Great, Wide Universe. There is no way small and tight and narrow can remain in the face of the Vastness of What Is.

Speaking kind words is important. Speaking positively and passionately about all that Life has given is important too.

I have been questioning abundance and prosperity and what they really mean to me. This is a big thing for me. I am finding that receiving is a bigger issue...taking in the good in Life is a practice. Absorbing it into my whole system is a new thing. I think it is going to be just a teeny bit at a time!

I do know that I don't have to "do" anything to receive. That is the world's way and not the way of Spirit. I have to stay in the place of Be-ing...and from that place action comes with the desired outcome. Be-ing Happy, be-ing devoted to the giving of my gifts, be-ing receptive in a gracious and joyous way is beautiful and brings me into the vibrations of abundance.

I am learning to trust that I am a good and responsible creator. I have to answer to no one. My life is my own and my definitions of Success and Happiness are all that matter to me. My only job in life is to Be Happy and to Love Myself No Matter What!

I opened my heart to someone, someone I met when I was minding my own business and NOT expecting anything and it turned me inside out and upside down. In a bunch of good ways. In many loving and healing ways. For this amazing and wonderful gift, he has a place in my heart!

Thoughts to Change Your Mind

"All healing is faith healing." ~ Alan Cohen

"Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold." ~ Zelda Fitzgerald

"The past cannot impede you because you are far greater than it is." ~ Alan Cohen

"Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own." ~ Harold Coffin

"The door you open to give love is the very one through which love arrives." ~ Alan Cohen

"With the eyes of the mind he gazed upon those things which nature has denied to human sight." ~ Ovid

"You don’t have to go looking for love when it is where you come from." ~ Werner Erhard

More Thoughts for the Week...

"When you can't figure it out, feel it out." ~ Alan Cohen

"It doesn't matter how much you want. What really matters is how much you want it." ~ Ralph Marston

"You know how every once in a while you get that feeling when you feel light as a feather, and YOU KNOW with every fiber of your body that everything is exactly as it should be?" ~ Tut, Notes from the Universe

"We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them." ~ Carl Jung

"and down he forgot as up he grew" ~ e.e. cummings

"Yesterday is a canceled check: Forget it. Tomorrow is a promissory note: Don't count on it. Today is ready cash: Use it!" ~ Edwin C. Bliss

"Needs are weeds. Thanks are banks." ~ Alan Cohen

"Don't be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done. ~ Paul Hawken

"Let well being be." ~ Alan Cohen

Personal Freedom

"It's supposed to be easy. Everything is supposed to be easy. Everything is easy. You live in a dream world. You're surrounded by illusions. And the illusions change when you change your thinking!

Tell yourself it's easy. Tell yourself often. Make it a mantra. Eat, sleep, and breathe it. And your life shall be transformed.

It's supposed to be easy."

- Mike Dooley, Notes from the Universe

No matter what is going on in this crazy world of ours...it's supposed to be easy. It's my choice to make this my personal mantra--to honor those who came before. This is my path to freedom.

3 July 2009

"Do at the beginning of day what would make your day worthwhile if you did nothing else." ~ Alan Cohen

"The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example." ~ Thomas Morell

"People are not fixed entities, but dynamic energies expanding or contracting in relation to your thoughts about them." ~ Alan Cohen

"Listen now to the gentle whispers of hope." ~ Charles D. Brodhead

"It is when outer times seem dark that inner light shines the brightest." ~ Alan Cohen

"Take care of your minutes, and the hours will take care of themselves." ~ Lord Chesterson

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought." ~ Matsuo Basho

Osho on Self Love

A person who loves himself can easily become meditative, because meditation means being with yourself.

If you hate yourself — as you do, as you have been told to do, and you have been following it religiously — if you hate yourself, how can you be with yourself? Meditation is nothing but enjoying your beautiful aloneness and celebrating yourself. That’s what meditation is all about. Meditation is not a relationship. The other is not needed at all; one is enough unto oneself. One is bathed in one’s own glory, bathed in one’s own light. One is simply joyous because one is alive, because one is.

The greatest miracle in the world is that you are and that I am. To be is the greatest miracle, and meditation opens the doors of this great miracle. But only a man who loves himself can meditate; otherwise you are always escaping from yourself, avoiding yourself. Who wants to look at an ugly face and who wants to penetrate an ugly being? Who wants to go deep into one’s own mud, into one’s own darkness? Who wants to enter the hell that they think they are? You want to keep this whole thing covered up with beautiful flowers and you want always to escape from yourself.

Hence people are seeking company continuously. They can’t be with themselves; they want to be with others. People are seeking any type of company; if they can avoid the company of themselves anything will do. They will sit in a movie house for three hours seeing something utterly stupid. They will read a detective novel for hours, wasting their time. They will read the same newspaper again and again just to keep themselves engaged. They will play cards and chess just to kill time...as if they have too much time!

Love begins with you yourself, then it can go on spreading. It goes on spreading of its own accord; you need not do anything to spread it.

“Love yourself..." says Buddha. And then immediately he adds: "... and watch." That is meditation, that is Buddha’s name for meditation. But the first requirement is to love yourself, and then watch. If you don’t love yourself and start watching, you may feel like committing suicide.

Many Buddhists feel like committing suicide because they don’t pay attention to the first part of the sutra, they immediately jump to the second: watch yourself. In fact, I have never come across a single commentary on The Dhammapada, these sutras of the Buddha, which has paid any attention to the first part: Love yourself.

Socrates says: Know thyself, Buddha says: Love thyself. And Buddha is far truer, because unless you love yourself you will never know yourself — knowing comes only later on, love prepares the ground. Love is the possibility of knowing oneself. Love is the right way to know oneself.

“Love yourself and watch...today, tomorrow, always.”

Create loving energy around yourself. Love your body and love your mind. Love your whole mechanism, your whole organism. By love is meant: accept it as it is, don’t try to repress. We repress only when we hate something, we repress only when we are against something. Don’t repress, because if you repress how are you going to watch? We cannot look the enemy eye to eye; we can look only in the eyes of our beloved. If you are not a lover of yourself you will not be able to look into your own eyes, into your own face, into your own reality.

Watching is meditation, Buddha’s name for meditation. Watch is Buddha’s watchword. He says: Be aware, be alert, don’t be unconscious. Don’t behave in a sleepy way. Don’t go on functioning like a machine, like a robot. That’s how people are functioning.

Watch — just watch. Buddha does not say what has to be watched — everything! Walking, watch your walking. Eating, watch your eating. Taking a shower, watch the water, the cold water falling on you, the touch of the water, the coldness, the shiver that goes through your spine — watch everything, “today, tomorrow, always.”

A moment finally comes when you can watch even your sleep. That is the ultimate in watching. The body goes to sleep and there is still a watcher awake, silently watching the body fast asleep. That is the ultimate in watching. Right now just the opposite is the case: your body is awake but you are asleep. Then you will be awake and your body will be asleep. The body needs rest but your consciousness needs no sleep. Your consciousness is consciousness; it is alertness, that is its very nature.

As you become more watchful you start having wings — then the whole sky is yours. Man is a meeting of the earth and the sky, of body and soul.

Sunday

I have been contemplating what has been up with me...I am having to not only release a lot of old "rules" about how things "should" be or what things are "supposed" to look like, I am having to confront some of them to find out if they are really true. And how can I know that they are true?

I have learned that finding out what is real means breathing thru the fear--what still exists for me is real in that moment. (Lots of things just seem to disappear and the only thing left is love or light or laughter--pretty much laughter at myself!)

Some crazy fears of late: That I will suddenly wake up one day to find that my body has betrayed me and I have turned into a dried up old prune!

That releasing my ego attachment to outcome also means letting go of deserving, receiving and having that which I desire!

That this particular cycle of growth and learning are just going to go on way too long before I see results!

I wish that I could say that today I am grateful for this learning experience. I don't feel that way quite yet. I can say that I do, in fact, see potential in it and I do think that eventually I will feel infinitely grateful and I will come away from this a more authentic, better and happier me. (I have felt naturally inspired to face some of the more challenging issues that I've been avoiding to the best of my ability. Of course, it also makes me crazy when I do the avoiding thing!)

I am submitting to this lesson and I am attempting to do so gracefully; I expect that I will continue to improve in this. (So, alright, I am not the most graceful of beings. I can admit it and it won't kill me. :))

Looking back at the events of the last year or so, I can see how I have been led to this experience. It is very odd to see that this is so. And yet, I feel its truth inside.

I have been asking to move into alignment with the deepest desires of my heart and into a space where I am open, willing and able to receive. I had a lot to do to get here. The only thing that I can do in this moment is trust that it will all be good, that my heart's desires will indeed be met and that I just have to let go of controling how it is going show up!

I am choosing to open the door to What Is. I am choosing to ride the wave to the shore...

I submit to the Lessons that Life is currently offering me.

If the thoughts that I think expand...what would I like to grow in my world?

"Nothing is too good to be true. Nothing is too wonderful to have happen. With (Father/Mother/Creator)God as my Source, Nothing amazes me." ~ Maureen Moss

My first instinct is to close up. To contract in the fear of pain and disappointment. Well, that just immediately gives me exactly what I am fearing...pain and disappointment. It is only by staying open, or at least soft to the possibilities, that I can receive that which I desire.

With an open heart, Life is Magical.

There is a Life in front of each of us--I believe it would best serve us all to embrace what is there for us to do each day. It is a new way to live for me.

Learning Myself in a New Way with Help From a Friend

You know, I was going along, minding my own business...and WHAM! I swear it felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks. OY! It was kind of scary there for a moment, too.

I am still learning. I have learned that I have cleared some big issues from the past. I have truly re-prioritized the most important things in Life--my very own Happiness comes first. That means I am showing up as the true and authentic me. And I have no attachment to what other people think of my choices, especially since those choices are all about my Happiness. This is very new. This is important. I feel this new awareness down to my bones. And I like it. :)

I have also discovered that it is important to me to clear a big issue I have about my personal appearance. Don't ask! However, I have decided to engage in self-care with a new awareness of my face and my feelings.

It is okay not to have answers to the interesting and new things that Life hands us. I am truly okay with making up my own rules as I go along. I think that each choice, in each moment, adds to our happiness or takes away from it.

When I didn't put my Happiness first, I could never make up my mind. I couldn't understand how other people could make decisions without seeming to worry about missed opportunities-better things, things that I supposed would make me happy. (I used to think that happiness was based on all those externals and making decisions this way is bound to lead to confusion and ego-driven wanderings...and yes, I had 'em!) I truly envied others their ability to choose. The thing is, I had long ago made a fear-based choice that said I didn't deserve to be happy, nor could I have what I wanted. So no choice was going to work or be ideal and I just had to settle for less and make the best out of what was offered-or keep searching. Last year, I gave myself permission to be Happy. Last year, my father gave me permission to do whatever I needed to do to be Happy, too. Ever since then, I have been feeling happier and Happier. If you choose to be Happy first, all choices will ultimately take you there. Are there really missed opportunities? I think that the only missed opportunity that exists is when we don't take the chance to Love. :) (Maybe this is incorrect; I am willing to find out!)

So, I have some contemplations brewing. I need to find out if I can make room for Love in a new way. I also need to find out if I can put aside ego and fear and ask for what I both want and deserve in my life. It is a journey that I am willing to take, a new fork in the road, something not oft traveled.

Some Thoughts for This Week...

"The moments when you are not at your best ultimately contribute to your best getting better." ~ Alan Cohen

"Remember, happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think." ~ Dale Carnegie

"Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them." ~ Robert R. Updegraff

"It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure." ~ Joseph Campbell

Quotes for the Week...

"Completion is not an act in the future. It is an acceptance of what is, now." ~ Alan Cohen

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds." ~ Bob Marley

"If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." ~ Thomas Edison

"The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it." ~ John Ruskin

"Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you." ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson." ~ Alan Cohen

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't." ~ Mark Twain

"Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are...see possibilities...for they're always there."
~ Norman Vincent Peale

"Unlearning old limits is far more helpful than learning new ones." ~ Alan Cohen

Thought for the Day

"You are always proving yourself right, so think carefully about what you would like to be right about." ~ Alan Cohen

Contemplations...

I saw a book that I would like to read, "You Are What You Love" by Vaishali.

This has got me to thinking of myself in a new way...and I have been asking myself all sorts of questions about the things that I really, truly love from the deepest places in my heart.

My answers have surprised me so far. And with each new answer, my perception of who I Am has shifted.

I have also discovered that I am not living a life that I love in all ways. My answers are uncovering places in me that deserve to come into alignment with the things that bring me joy and really light me up inside.

I have also been wondering what brings sweetness into my life--what would that look like on a daily, regular basis? I don't have any answers to this yet...now that I get up so early in the morning, I miss welcoming the day by slowly simmering awake in my bed, getting in touch with how my body and my mind feel, so that by the time I set a foot on the floor I am ready to welcome the day with a smile.

So, there is some new thing to bring in the day with warmth and softness and welcome.

Saturday's Quotes

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." ~ Mary Pickford

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." ~ Albert Einstein

"Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbon." ~ Ruth Ann Schabaker

"What is now proved was once only imagined." ~ William Blake


"You have better things to think about than your problems." ~ Alan Cohen

"The possibility of stepping into a higher plane is quite real for everyone. It requires no force or effort or sacrifice. It involves little more than changing our ideas about what is normal." ~ Deepak Chopra

"What you seek is right before you." ~ Alan Cohen

Life...or Adventures with Teenagers, Fear and Living from the Heart

I feel really inspired by those who live fully and embrace each moment. Even the ones that suck!

The only prison is the mind and the only one who holds me back is me. That is the truth for me.

My daughter is going through some crazy teenage angst thing and I just get to sit and watch her figure it all out. She has such capacity for joy and yet she chooses to feel unhappy...and I just don't get it! It is driving me crazy...only when I think about it too much. (I promise, I am really trying not to think too much about this and just show up being a loving and understanding mother. Not that I think I am doing such a great job at that, mind you. I am just making an effort.)

Every time I think that I am stuck it is just a moment that I am feeling my own fear. I am simply standing at the edge of my next unfolding here in this life. I guess I must find it scary, when the reality of my life seems to be that the only constant in it is CHANGE!

I really wish that I could just be outrageous, larger-than-life, "in your face," and out there, all the time. That would only mean that I was just being me. And yet, I can't seem to do that consistently. I think that maybe I am really going to have to do things now--not waiting for some magic moment--even though I am probably going to do them badly at first. I guess there is so much about life that is all about practice, Practice, PRACTICE! :) I am never going to get better at anything without actually engaging in these activities that seem to push my buttons. So what if I mess up?

I am rethinking some things...releasing the old b.s. that no longer applies and no longer works for me.

I am saying yes to vulnerability, to exposing myself in all the best ways (!), and becoming more and more fully present in all my moments.

Heaven on Earth

"If you want heaven to come to earth, you must bring it with you." ~ Alan Cohen

More Opportunities to Say Yes...

I'd really rather be happy. I am learning that while I used to prefer being heard or being right, I would rather choose happiness. So now when I make my choices, it really is about what I need to bring me happiness. I may actually make some of the same choices, I am just coming from a different place--my heart!

I believe that being serious is a disease of the soul. I know what happens to me when I start getting serious. My focus narrows, I begin to think about me and what is wrong, rather than what is right or good or positive in my life, and things get heavy and spiral down from there. And there is just so much for which to feel grateful, so why not change my focus?

New opportunities are showing up...and while I don't yet know the outcome (do I have to?), I do hold the intentions of good things showing up and everything working out beautifully, easily and gracefully. (I think inviting in grace would be a good thing since I am now finding I have very little in some areas of my life!)

My shoulder and wrist have been feeling uncomfortable and I am finding that this is another invitation to slow down and be a bit more present with some different things in my life. Yoga is wonderful and it will be waiting for me...and right now, other things need my attention. I have had to give myself permission to switch gears. I am saying yes to new things, saying yes to learning myself in new ways and I am saying yes to being gentle with myself...it is a different way for me to be right now. And I like it!

Latest Good Thoughts

"None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~ Henry David Thoreau

"The kinder and more thoughtful a person is, the more kindness they can find in other people." ~ Leo Tolstoy

"Your body knows how to be healthy and happy. All you need to do is cooperate with its wisdom." ~ Alan Cohen

"The only gifts worth giving or receiving are those that expand when they are given." ~ Alan Cohen

"The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter." ~ Source unknown

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking." ~ Buddhist saying

"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand." ~ Mark Twain

“Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods.” ~Japanese Proverb

Thought for the Day

"Anytime you run into a wall or a closed door, the first place to try to open it is in your own mind." ~ Source unknown

Changes...

"Everything that changes changes at your direction. " ~ Neale Donald Walsch

Have you tried using The Universal ATM to attract money and more…

May 8th, 2009

By Heather Picken

"What if I told you that you could instantly change the rate in which you attract ANYTHING you wanted in your life...would you believe me?

One of the biggest issues I find when working with women and The Law of Attraction is self worth. Many women find it hard especially when it comes to attracting money to manifest it quickly and easily. Let’s face it women tend to be more emotional then men...and especially when it comes to money.

The most important thing is how you FEEL.
It is your feelings that set your attraction point.

Does this sound familiar to you?

You feel overwhelmed with bills, you are behind and feel that more money is going out then coming in...then it starts...

You begin to go into an emotional tailspin, feeling out of control and heading for the pint of ice cream or feel desperate with no end in sight. This is an all-time what I call “retraction attraction”...meaning you are taking away your original intention that was set in motion out into the universe.

Here are some easy ways to rapidly change your attraction around:

1. When you get this emotional uneasiness the first thing that you need to do is recognize what you are feeling.

2. Talk to yourself like you would a child and say “It’s ok...let it out”...most LOA experts say only think positive...which to me is wrong...you need to be real with yourself and allow your emotions to be released.

3. Remove yourself from the space. As soon as you have done step 2 make sure you physically remove yourself from that space. Everything IS energy so if you stay there you might get caught in the drama of your story and perpetuate your emotional state. By removing yourself and going for a walk you are easily shift out of the negative energy to another one that is more uplifting and new.

4. Turn it around. This is game that you can play every time you have an emotional situation simple write down on a sheet of paper the following:

This is how I feel (then write down exactly what you feel)

Then on the same sheet right next to it write this:

This is how I am turning it around (simply write down how you want things to go)

This is a very simple, yet powerful way to take your emotional state from stressed to calm and centered. Writing is a powerful transformational tool that can really help you to communicate with that deeper part of you.

Another huge issue for women when it comes to attracting money or anything else is self worth. Are you walking around with a negative self-worth balance? This is one of the missing secrets that most LOA teachings do not address. Everything happens on the inside so what you feel and think about yourself is key.

Here are some examples:

You want to attract more money

Your self worth account says:
“I don’t deserve it”

By doing this you begin to shift into a negative balance with yourself.

You would love to find your soul mate

Your self worth account says:
“I have never been in a great relationship and I just seem to attract the same kind of men...it’s just me”

Again, you are creating a negative balance and coming from a place of not feeling that you are deserving of being in a wonderful relationship.

Here’s what you can do:

Start a self worth account. Take out a sheet of paper and write down the reasons why you are so worthy and deserving of having ____________.

Your self worth account sheet would look something like this:

MY SELF WORTH ACCOUNT +

I am so worthy and deserving of living the lifestyle I desire because:

1. I have worked on myself mentally, spiritually, and emotionally
2. I appreciate what I have
3. I know that it’s my birthright

Make sure you come up with empowering reasons so that you put the positive back into your self worth account and yourself into balance."

P.S. I think her technique is similar to Byron Katie's--turn it around! This is a good way to become aware of beliefs and feelings that are keeping our vibrational frequencies stuck at a low level! It is better than a pint of ice cream!

Thought for the Day

"There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." ~ H. H. The Dalai Lama

Laughter is Free

...and smiles cost nothing!

Thank the Goddess for that!

I think it offsets all the other stuff in life. And laughter is such a tool for transforming a tense moment into something wonderful.

At times, I don't know how to invite in the laughter. Sometimes, even though my expressions are ultimately those of love, the words still come out wrong...and I just make a mess--even though I am being careful. (How does that happen?) I suppose that I can't always say the right thing and I suppose that part of the issue is that I can't do anything about the other person's issues. Hhmmm...

The only thing I can really control is how I feel about something and what I think about the experience over all. This is a huge thing for me to take care of myself and not take responsibility for the other person's stuff. It is feeling sort of awkward!

This is just a moment of my life--far less than the blink of an eye. In the eternities, the only thing that is going to matter is whether or not I have been kind, loving and compassionate. :)

I am doing my best.

So, I am off to find the freedom in a smile and the joy in laughter. And I am keeping the picture of a wet hen in my mind's eye! (Tee hee!) Teenagers!

Here, No Matter What

I am here, today, in this body, in this life...no matter what has happened in the past.

I release the past and live for this moment, this in-breath, my one and only here and now.

Our most important job in life is to be happy, no matter what. Being fully present in the moment supports us in getting to that happy place.

May we all live present in the moment and find the beauty and the joy of living...

Heaven in a Voice

My Crazy Dream

The other night, I had a dream that I was turning into a giant ladybug! Little ladybugs were crawling all over me, boring into my skin. In each of those spots, there was a perfect black circle. As the ladybugs would move underneath the surface of my skin, my skin would start turning red!

This is what I found when I searched online...

"After my mother died, each of my two sisters and I saw a multitude of ladybugs in our houses around the same time. Since it was in the middle of winter, that was quite an odd and unusual coincidence. We all felt that the ladybug must hold a message for us. Below is the information which I gathered and share with my sisters.

The ladybug is a member of the beetle family. They are found in nearly all climates. They are hemispheric in shape, have short legs and are usually bright colored with black, yellow or reddish markings. The females lay eggs.

Their life cycle requires about four weeks, so several generations are produced each summer. This cycle ties the ladybug to the energies of renewal and regeneration. Those who may have this totem are usually family oriented with strong morals and social values.

The name lady bug finds its origins in the middle ages when this beetle was dedicated to the Virgin Mary and called the "beetle of our lady." This name links the ladybug to spiritual ideals and religious devotion. It also holds a link to mothers.

Past lives associated with religion or the church are common for those with this animal totem and some form of daily meditation or prayer is recommended.

This tiny little beetle brings with it a powerful message. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest. When it appears in our life it is telling us to "let go and let God."

An adult ladybug can consume several thousand aphids and other scale insects within a few months. Since aphids & other insects can be harmful to crop production, farmers and growers have long considered the ladybug a good omen. Because of its diet, the ladybug often has parasites and people with this animal totem need to take care of their digestive system.

The ladybug is also one of the few beetles that are well liked by humans. Unlike other beetles, the ladybug brings a feeling of joy to us. Its small size signifies a delicate and loving nature. It portrays the energy of harmlessness and can show us how to stop self harm.

The shell on its back protects it from predators. Its wings fold against the body serving to protect its soft underside. Ladybugs have sharp instincts and feel vibrations through their legs. This allows them to sense energy of whatever they touch and is another form of protection. In spite of the ladybug's size, it appears to be fearless.

Seen often as a messenger of promise, the ladybug reconnects us with the joy of living. Fear and joy can not co-exist. We need to release our fears and return to love - this is one of the messages that the ladybug brings to us.

Ladybug teaches us how to restore our trust and faith in the great spirit. When the ladybug appears, it is telling us to get out of our own way and allow the great spirit to enter into our lives." ~ personal experience from weareonespirit, www.experienceproject.com

The Underlying Sweetness of Life

Last week, as I was driving down to Agape for a puja, I was reminded that every expression in life is just an expression of love. Sometimes, that expression comes out wrong. Sometimes, the expression is misinterpreted on the receiving end. I guess that is the human part of the equation.

There is always an underlying sweetness to life.

Our natural state is love and openness. That love and that openness live within us. If we choose to embrace our natural state, our lives become sweeter and richer than we could possibly imagine. With each inhalation, we breathe in the love of the Universal Mother of us all.

Submitting or surrendering willingly to life, to each lesson, each opportunity for growth leads to more love, more joy and more to celebrate. I am still surprised each time I am confronted with a lesson. I think that the Universe gives us the opportunity go to backwards instead of forward...it is up to us to decide which way we are going to go. The Art of Living is a practice. We can find our edge and play there...

Saturday's Thought

"In the shelter of each other, the people live." ~ Gaelic Proverb

What an Inspiration!

Some Quotes for the Week

"You can't afford to let your happiness depend on the behavior of another person." ~ Alan Cohen

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." ~ Allan K. Chalmers

"Being in charge of a small world is far less satisfying than participating in a greater one." ~ Alan Cohen

"Vision without action is a daydream; action without vision is a nightmare." ~ Japanese proverb

"Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young." ~ Paul McCartney

"It is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things." ~ Henry David Thoreau

"Life is a lottery that we've already won. But most people have not cashed in their tickets." ~ Louise L. Hay

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." ~ Helen Keller

"The miracle is this - the more we share, the more we have." ~ Leonard Nimoy

"If a thought makes you happy to think it, that's a good reason to keep thinking it." ~ Alan Cohen

Glad to Be Learning...

Of course, there are those really weird moments and I get to wonder what the heck is going on! Yes, the latest lesson sort of started out that way. I walked away scratching my head mentally, attempting to sort the whole thing out.

At least now I got the lesson!

I learned that sometimes people don't gel with each other. I can't do anything to change that and in fact, attempting to make changes may make a mess. (Apparently, I am good at making messes! :) ) It was actually quite bizarre to realize that we were both speaking English but apparently not really understanding each other. It was as if we were each speaking a foreign language! Perception is a huge thing--it makes our reality because that is what we believe and yet it may not be real!

I learned it is okay to say "no" to someone--to say "no" to an experience with them. It may be better that I do so. Sooner rather than later. Sometimes, I still feel the need to be heard and the need to be right...and that is messy. :) Someone else's perceptions of me can be rather startling and so far from who I am that I really just need to walk away with my hands up! (And make sure that I put my ego down first.)

I did discover that when I feel that someone is making assumptions about me and who I am and what I want it makes me feel really angry. Like he or she is telling me who I am and what I want and what I like...as if he or she is some kind of expert on me. I think it qualifies as invalidating and crazy-making! I am laughing now...and I remember when I used to take it so seriously. This is just more evidence of my growth and my learning.

Now I see that it would be in my best interest to go lightly and just float like a beautiful butterfly...just stop in to rest, to explore and then leave if things don't feel right. And my body does truly know what does and doesn't feel right. I guess I just get to practice paying more attention to my body and its wisdom.

Sometimes, someone shows me a mirror of myself and I don't like it. Sometimes, I am showing up for them to learn something. And sometimes, that is just the way it works out in life.

It helps to know what I want, to be really clear about the deepest desires of my heart, to be unafraid to speak my truth and most of all to be very clear in communicating. Which I can now see I was not clear...mostly with my use of language.

And of course, last and most certainly not least, I have learned that I need to ask for not only a conscious man to show up in my life-- but also a man who is conscious with women in general and me in particular. I am going to be more conscious with men myself and learn to better use my words. :)

My feathers got ruffled momentarily. This morning has brought me a huge sense of relief and I have been laughing at the whole thing. So, I know that I have come to some kind of peace with it all.

Mahalo nui loa, Kalani.

And the Adventure Continues...

...or perhaps I just keep learning!

I am learning to accept that life just keeps happening, regardless of what I say that I want. The only control that I have in these situations is over what I think about what is going on...what it boils down to is the only problems that I have are simply between my own two ears! Perception, perception, perception.

And since I do have a life and since things just keep on showing up, the only thing that I can do is learn to accept What Is and then change my own mind about it. The amazing thing is that when I do this...things tend to change and change quickly.

One of the issues that I have going on right now is making time for all the things that I have on my to-do list. For a while, I was waiting for my kids to help me (yeah, right!). Then, I started waiting for my schedule to shift or calm down to support me in doing what I need to do at home. Not happening either. So, the only thing left to me is to change how I am looking at this issue and tackle things differently. My irritation is driving this new desire for something different and for now, I am going to use this as my tool to focus my intentions. :)

But I really think that I better keep a stash of chocolate available for a really bad day! :) I plan to give myself permission to say my favorite swear word as needed, for stress relief! :)

Living in openness and surrendering to What Is is challenging sometimes. It pushes me to my edges. When you play with your edges, sometimes you fall. Falling is okay. I guess this is just one of those times. And that is okay. I am finding my balance, finding my way.

Life is Good and Very Good.

Be Well.

More Monday Quotes

"The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind." ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"I am more and more convinced that our happiness or our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves." ~ Karl Wilhelm Von Humboldt

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~ Thornton Wilder

"What we do from joy expresses love; what we do from fear calls for love." ~ Alan Cohen

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true." ~ Richard Bach

"It is not the perfect who need love, but the imperfect." ~ Oscar Wilde

"There is just one life for each of us; our own." ~ Euripides

Take That Side Step!

So...this has been an interesting week.

Things started off differently because I did a few things differently. And guess what? I got different results. (Not really a surprise!)

I have asked for many things to come to me in the course of the last year or so and as I continue to shift, I have discovered that those things have shown up in my life. Some of the things for which I asked have already shown up...and some are just now arriving.

Nothing has really changed in my life, except me. :) My perceptions. My attitudes. My feelings and my emotions.

One gift is learning to find and push my own edges. I am liking this experience. It helps me to stay open and to say yes to myself and my life. If something doesn't work out quite right, it is no big deal because I know that my life is a practice and I am going to be given another opportunity. And another. And another. And that is a very good thing!

I am going to take some different actions again this weekend. I am curious to find out what I will receive in return. :)

Be well!

Happy Monday!

"Everything you need is inside you." ~ Alan Cohen

"The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking." ~ Robert H. Schuller

"Interpretations affect your life far more significantly than facts." ~ Alan Cohen

"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

"If you would just do it, it would be done." ~ Alan Cohen

"A problem is a chance for you to do your best." ~ Duke Ellington

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." ~ Henry David Thoreau

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." ~ Oprah Winfrey

The Things that I Value

Now is the time to embrace and explore and express all the things that I value...this has been on my mind for a while.

Love matters to me. This means treating others with kindness, compassion, understanding and yes, love. It means speaking kind words to all who come into my life. So many positive things seem to me to be an expression of love. For me, Love means doing what is right and choosing the higher way.

Relationship matters to me. My relationship with myself lays the foundation for how I relate to others. The kinder, more gentle and more compassionate I am with myself the more I offer these qualities to others. I am in relationship with everyone and everything that dwells right now on this planet. How am I showing up?

The earth--our Mother--matters. Do I treat the earth ethically and responsibly? Do I honor my home?

Healing matters to me. I value offering a service to others. I love and enjoy empowering others to live a life of love, of joy, of happiness and of passion. I feel blessed to be able to facilitate for others and to share my experiences in healing.

One thing that comes up very strongly is that now is the time for me to acknowledge, accept, appreciate and own my femininity and my beauty. This has been pushing so many buttons for me lately, so I know this is huge. As I have made a bigger and deeper commitment to my own health and my own fitness, I love and appreciate my body for its strength and its muscles and its curves. The beauty and the strength of my body continue to evolve as I engage in my process of being fully and completely present in my body. I know that it is time to honor my body, adorn the temple and cultivate my own brand of beauty.

I don't know, yet, what my life will end up looking like as engage in my process. We each are here such a short time. It seems wise to embrace each moment, to take it all in and dive into every emotion and every experience because this moment is all there is...

Here is to Venus...and stepping into the Feminine Unchained!

Timely Information...Venus in Aries

I had a Venus return reading with Sao about a month before I turned 40. He brought it all to life for me and inspired me to embrace the Divine Feminine!

This is what Sao has to say about Venus in Aries--the Feminine Unchained!

"On March 27th a very powerful Venus-in-Aries cycle began; it will continue for 584 days, approximately a year and nine months. Because this is Venus, The Feminine Principle, this cycle invites and inspires women to explore and express a new, deeper, more powerful aspect of themselves, and this is equally true for men as regards their inner feminine.

This cycle invites us to summon the courage to be adventurous, to explore radically new ways of Living, and to trust The Very Spirit of Life.

I strongly encourage everyone to participate with Venus as she embarks on this 584-day journey through Aries. Your participation will -- not might, it will -- make a powerful difference, perhaps the crucial difference, in our rapidly changing world. The change is rooted in this: Every person on Earth is being challenged to dig deeper than ever before and discover a new layer of Our Deepest Personal Values -- and Venus is Our Deepest Personal Values.

Venus (The Goddess, The Divine Femnine) embarked on this adventure on March 27th. Since then a number of women have called or emailed to tell me they're venturing into new territory, that for some time now they've been feeling the urge to be new, to be different, to change themselves and their lives, and that something is stirring in them now, a new presence is moving in them urging them to action, to blaze a new trail for themselves and those they Love. These women are feeling the presence of Venus in Aries. Here are just a few examples (my ideas) of what The New Aries Woman might do:

- explore a new livelihood -- the Right Livelihood that feels good to your Soul;

- commence with a project you've longed to accomplish, something you're truly passionate about -- writing a book, going to the "I Can Do It!" seminar, taking flying lessons, etc.

- starting a real movement to have every other Pope be a woman who then appoints other women to top positions in the hierarchy of that religious order; same with the Dalai Lama and that religious order; same with Mormonism and that religious order, same with Islam and that religious order, same with every religious order on Earth. (For those who don't remember, women did this in the 1960's with the names of hurricanes. Before the 60's all hurricanes were given feminine names -- it's time to take "the next step", take it to the next level -- that's the way of courageous Aries!)

These are just a few examples of the Aries spirit of independence

Because this is Venus, the feminine principle, let's consider the nature, character and energy of the Aries archetype when it expresses in and through women. In The Shamanic Astrology Handbook by Daniel Giamario, creator of Shamanic Astrology, we find these descriptions of The Aries Goddess:

- The Warrior Amazon

- The One Who Fights for a Cause

- Joan of Arc

- The Goddess: Queen Bodicca (this was a real person, google her)

- "Women Who Run With The Wolves" (this is a book, google it)

- The Wild Woman Archetype

- The Tom Boy

And also from The Shamanic Astrology Handbook, let's consider the invocation, the prayer, the mantra, the meditation, the focused intention of The Aries Goddess:

"I am warrior woman. I defend you in battle against the dark lords, the greedy, and those exploiting Mother Earth. I will fight to protect the Cosmic Order. I Am Goddess Of Victorious Triumph!"

Joan of Arc
So yes, the Aries Goddess is The Goddess wild and free, yet she lives that way with a purpose! She is going forth with The Sword of Truth paving her way, and with Strength and Courage lighting her Path to Victory!

In the March issue of "The Shamanic Astrology Newsletter" we find yet another description of the nature of this Venus cycle of power:

Venus Prepares For Her Journey in Aries

"From the Spring Equinox when the Sun enters Aries, to April 3rd when Venus rises as a Morning Star and begins her new cycle in the Aries domain, there are many factors calling our attention to the potency of this time. On March 27, 2009, for example, we have the Sun conjunction with retrograde Venus (7 Aries) accelerating the messages possible from the realm of underworld treasures that are now coming to light. This marks an important point in the transformational shift of Venus, now completing with the Leo archetypal expression and preparing for a rebirth or reincarnation into the Aries expression of the Goddess.

Aries is the Amazon Warrior and the Wild Woman. Here are some images from Clarissa Pinkola Estes' book, Women Who Run With The Wolves, to spark our sense of these mysteries.

"WITHIN EVERY WOMAN THERE IS A WILD AND NATURAL CREATURE, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species. Though the gifts of wildish nature come to us at birth, society's attempt to "civilize" us into rigid roles, has plundered this treasure and muffled the deep life-giving messages of our own souls. Without Wild Woman, we become over domesticated, fearful, uncreative, trapped."

"Healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics: keen sensing, playful spirit, and a heightened capacity for devotion. Wolves and women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed of great endurance and strength. They are deeply intuitive, intensely concerned with their young, their mate and their pack. They are experienced in adapting to constantly changing circumstances; they are fiercely stalwart and very brave."

"She is the one who thunders after injustice."

(If you'd like to receive the monthly Shamanic Astrology Newsletter (it's free!), visit the official Shamanic Astrology website, www.shamanicastrology.com. Type your email address in the box at the very bottom of the home page and click "Join". Depending on the speed of your computer, it can take as little as thirty seconds to subscribe. Also, you might enjoy the five-minute video on the origins of Shamanic Astrology, right above the subscription box.)

So for all of us, yet especially for women, starting now and for the next year and nine months is a time to Be New! It is a time to summon The Courage of The Warrior and express your deepest, truest, most authentic identity. It is a time to declare your true Self, define yourself, to no longer be defined by others. Consider this:

"If you pay nervous attention to other people's opinions, maneuver to obtain their indulgence and to stand high in their esteem, you will be whisked about in their winds and you will lose yourself." - Jo Coubert -

This Friday, April 3rd, or one morning soon after, Venus will rise as the beautiful Morning Star for the first time in many months. This "heliacal rise" is the trigger-point and the true, shamanic beginning of this 584-day Venus-in-Aries cycle. To witness Venus rising this way is an absolutely stunning experience. I STRONGLY encourage everyone to get up about thirty minutes before sunrise this Friday, April 3rd (I realize that for many of you this is asking a lot, to sacrifice even one minute of your precious slumber, yet I promise you it will be worth it and this is the only time in your entire Life that I'll ask you to do this, because after this one experience I won't have to -- you'll want to do it), look directly east and wait to see if Venus rises before the Sun that morning. You won't have to wonder which star is Venus because she will be as close to Earth as she gets, so she'll be the brightest body in the heavens by far! She'll be huge and glowing, a very powerful Presence in the heavens. Trust me, you will know her when you see her. She's so close and big and beautiful you can actually see -- and feel! -- her pulsating. It is truly an amazing experience.

Now, it's not possible to know exactly which morning Venus will first become visible. So if on this Friday the Sun rises so that daylight comes, the stars are no longer visible and you don't see her that morning, then please do the same thing Saturday morning, then Sunday, maybe Monday, and continue each morning until one morning she's suddenly, powerfully, spectacularly there, and you experience this New Venus Rising, this New Woman Rising on Earth. Hopefully it will be Friday, but it might be a day or two or three or so later.

And on that marvelous morning that she rises, whichever morning that is, and displays her powerful, awe-inspiring Beauty for you -- just for you -- talk with her, commune and communicate with her, let her know that you acknowledge and honor her new cycle as The Warrior Amazon, the wild, free and powerful Protector and Defender of the Family and The Cosmic Order, and ask if you may do this dance with her. She will oblige you.

Then for the next 584 days, dance yourself free!

All of this brings to mind the title of a favorite song . . . .

"Wild Women Don't Get The Blues!"


So, take "the next step".

Claim your power. Save the children.

See it? Do it.

Thank you.


May Love have Its way with you,"

Sao
http://www.astrologyofchange.com

A New Leaf

Lately, it has been so much easier just to be an observer. By observing, I can pay attention to how my body feels, what brings stress and what brings me happiness. Sometimes, I am very surprised to find that I have held onto a hurt or something very small and simple makes me smile.

For so long, I have been such an 'in my head' intellectual sort of person. Now, I am finding that exercise makes me incredibly happy. It is the opportunity to connect with my body without my ego-driven, monkey mind getting in the way. I have truly loved recognizing that my body is much stronger and more capable than I had previously believed. Now, I am convinced that I am just going to keep getting better the longer I am here. Being in my body is now a much happier thing for me.

I am also discovering that I have made up a lot of beliefs about myself, about my life and about what is possible based on things that happened in the past. Things that I didn't always understand and certainly didn't like. Things people told me when I was growing up and weird and strange conclusions I reached when I was quite young. I am releasing those beliefs.

So, if I release those old beliefs, what do I have? I have the sudden awareness that Everything is Possible and it only matters what I choose to believe. Even the things in which I believe is a choice. Oh, don't get me wrong...I have intellectually understood that what I think and what I speak and ultimately what I believe is what I create. Now, I am feeling it! I am feeling it down to my bones.

Lots of things have led me to this place. My practice to live surrendered open (and it is a practice), my gran's health, my personal relationship experiences, my experiences exposing my beliefs, my talents and my abilities to others...and having interactions with others that force me to confront my stuff. Sometimes this is a pleasant thing, one that is supportive and loving and gentle and other times, not so much.

I do know that being kind, compassionate, gentle and loving is best in dealing with myself. It makes choosing happiness an easier thing. I once believed that living a wonderful life meant that there would be no issues. What I understand now is that life is full of issues...and it is how I handle those issues that makes my life easier or more difficult. Life and its issues are not going to stop, not going to go away until I leave this plane of existence. It all comes back to choice. It is my beliefs and my choices that color my experience while I am here on this planet. No one can make me miserable unless I let them! I can ask for and believe in grace, ease, peace and simplicity. :)

I decided to have permanent lash enhancement done. It is a glamorous upgrade to my look...and it pushed a few buttons. As I stood in front of the mirror getting ready to go out, I contemplated how I was feeling. At first, I thought that I was feeling stuck. Then I realized that I am standing at the edge of something new, waiting for it to unfold and that I was actually feeling afraid. Afraid of the new, of the unknown and all of that uncharted territory. Once I understood that, I also understood something else. As I have developed my relationship with myself, the New seems less intimidating because I am trusting myself more and more. No matter what comes, I know that I am going to be okay.

I am already just fine. :)

Be well!

Which Seeds Will I Plant?

Today was a beautiful, warm, sunny day!

I spent part of it outside--weeding the yard. It was interesting to me that sometimes, no matter how hard I tried, I could not save some of the cute little flowers from coming up with the weeds. Life is like that sometimes, I think. We make choices and do our best and still the consequences of our choices may still have a negative impact or two. Sometimes, it feels like I get to pick the lesser of two evils.

I really have been thinking a lot lately. Perhaps too much. Not to the point of "mentacide," though. (This would be thinking myself to death, by the way.) Being introspective has its place...and I am choosing now to move into a deeper space of being, then doing and having some new experiences in my life.

I read an article not too long ago about people who are sensitive to the energies and the emotions of others. Frequently, they end up alone because it is easier for them to cope with this sensitivity on their own. I do like my space and my down time...and at the same time, I would love to be with someone who actually gets me and allows me to do my thing. I would love to be loved! (Is that so hard to say? Sometimes, I think! Isn't that funny?)

I think about the dreams I had as a little girl, of what I wanted my life to be like. I am not living that life. I knew, at 5, that I was a healer. I knew before that, that I was different. But different was a badge that I wore that set me apart from others. Now, I don't want that. I don't want to be set apart from others...

Being me is a good thing. No two people are exactly alike and we weren't meant to be. We are each unique and special, with our own quirks, our own strengths and our own talents. It is a gift that we give to both ourselves and to others when we shine our light for all to see.

This is a new place for me. A place of acceptance and peace about who I am. This is a place of turning from past and looking to future. I think that maybe I have grown beyond the little girl dreams...maybe it is time for some new, grown-up dreams!

Spring has Sprung

Spring is officially here!

I have been pondering the nature of my life lately. And while I have no definitive answers about what my life means or what I would like my life to mean, exactly, I have had several interesting observations.

One observation that I did have was that I have held onto past references for what my future life should look like. I did this very unconsciously. Needless to say, a serious mental Spring Cleaning is in order! Holding on to those past reference points limits all my future possibilities. Which sort of defeats the purpose of consciously choosing to create my life.

I have spent some time contemplating my need for a buffer between myself and the outside world or myself and certain people in my life with whom I sometimes find it difficult to interact. In the past, I was most comfortable hiding my light, my talents and my abilities. Exposure seemed painful and confusing. Now, I find that many things are far easier for me, much more fun and there are experiences and people that I choose to embrace and bring into my life, rather than hide or run away.

I guess this is just another aspect of maturing. :)

I feel as though I am suddenly approaching my life and my creations with a clean slate. If I put down those old reference points, release the buffers, what do I desire to create now? It seems very timely, this question. And this seems like the perfect time to plant some new seeds!

Ireland, Take Me Away

Howth, Ireland

Thank you, James O'Gorman, for the beautiful image!

Tuesday's Thoughts for the Day

"You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, single power, a single salvation . . . and that is called loving." ~ Herman Hesse

"Would it be easier and more effective to change how you are thinking about it?" ~ Alan Cohen

"Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." ~ Carl Jung

"Intention is more powerful than discipline, and far easier." ~ Alan Cohen

"The more you invest in your happiness, the more happiness you will find to invest in." ~ Alan Cohen

"Look within. Be still. Free from fear and attachment, know the sweet joy of living in the way." ~ Buddha

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

"There's no way to freedom. A 'way' means you have to start from somewhere and arrive somewhere. This is the deception of the mind. You don't have to go anywhere to find freedom. Forget about finding your way, you are already That which you are seeking." ~ Papaji

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." ~ Philip K. Dick

Lazy Sunday...

"Misery and despair is what is left after you have gone through all the trouble of trying to satisfy the Ego with money, knowledge, things, and power, only to find that the Lower Self can never be satisfied." ~ Babaji

"The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” ~ Zen Saying

I borrowed the above quotes from Enlightened Beings...

I am enjoying a lazy Sunday morning. Listening to some good music, typing my thoughts out in search of a bit of clarity, thinking about which yoga class I want to take today and contemplating brekkie. :) Not in that order.

If I quiet my ego-mind and listen, what do I hear? The first is a big couple of questions. What do I desire to create in my life right now--all things considered? And am I going to be brave enough to follow my heart? And wow, this just pushes some buttons; which is good. It means I am on my way to being honest with myself and healing a few things in the process.

I still feel a bit surprised at where this process has taken me. It is definitely a good place!

Do I trust myself to do a good job at this? I guess I am going to find out!

What a Week!

This has been such a full week. My thoughts are full, my emotions are full...and it seems as though new things are on the way.

I keep coming back to the concept that things come back around. The cycles of life. All the interconnected circles. Connect the dots.

What does it all mean? (This question always makes me think of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe." Would a number work for an answer?)

I don't know right at the moment! And it is okay.

My sister and I gave a raw food talk on Thursday night. We had such great fun and the food was amazing!

I spend time with my gran and I think her experience is supporting me in being more mindful in my own life.

Someone sweet and special has shown up from the past...

Life certainly works in strange ways sometimes. :) I am going to do my best in each moment and have fun.

Be well!

Good Thought

"Resign your destiny to higher powers." ~ William James

Letting go is a beneficial thing to do...it allows us to focus on what truly matters.

Things may actually start to get easier and more graceful.

Be well!

Saturday Sunshine

This image was captured by my lovely and talented daughter, Brenna.

Just Something to Think About

"The expectation that something bad will happen stems from the belief that something bad has happened, neither of which, on the most fundamental level, is true." ~~ Alan Cohen

Magic

"When you're Happy for No Reason you're unconditionally happy. It's not that your life always looks perfect - it's just that however it looks, you'll still be happy." ~ Marci Shimoff

There is magic in just allowing your life to unfold right before your eyes.

Plant the seeds of love, of joy, of peace, of happiness, of abundance.

Then let go of the attachment to an outcome...just keep having happy thoughts. Then sit back and watch what comes your way.

What? You think it won't work, huh?

If you are feeling happy and if you are thinking positive thoughts, things will always work out!

Our thoughts and our feelings correspond to a vibrational frequency. The happier and more positive your feelings and thoughts are, the higher the vibration.

Because our bodies conduct energy, we have a magnetic field--sometimes called an aura or an energy field. We are like huge magnets walking around on the planet! So, you put some high vibrations in your energy field or aura and you will magnetize the same high frequencies into your life via your day-to-day experiences.

If your thoughts are out of control, stop them. It is your mind and those thoughts are your thoughts. The only one who actually can control them is you. The first step is to become aware of when you are thinking those negative thoughts. The next step is to pay attention the what triggers those thoughts. After that, you can begin to pay attention to your own breath...tell those thoughts to STOP!

You can do it!

Practice makes progress. Remember that!

Set Your Intentions

Now is the time; the energy is upon us! Spring approaches.

Go within, ask your heart...and state the deepest desires of your heart as your intentions for the coming months. Go with the Big Desires...break out of the old molds, patterns and programs to embrace your true nature.

Love is here. Claim it! Speak it! Own it! Live it!

Blessings and Blissings!

Be well.

Things May Not Be As They Seem...

We actually see with our brains--not our eyes. Did you know that? So what we think we see may not be the case.

How frequently do we take what we believe to be happening or experiencing to be the way it is? To be the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Probably most of the time, without even thinking about whether or not that is the truth.

What if...

we just stopped and observed instead of making instant judgments about the way things are?

we paid more attention to how we are breathing and how our bodies are feeling about something and used that as the gauge for what is real and what is working for us?

we didn't get personally attached to the way things appear to be?

Could we then take action based on the wisdom of our bodies? Could we follow the feelings of our bodies and make decisions based on our own comfort?

How challenging would it be to live within the wisdom and truth of the body?

The more I honor my body and its feelings, the more I enjoy my life!

Be well, in all things!

Time To Learn

There is truly something to be said for being loving, being generous and offering kindness and compassion to those with whom we interact.

I am learning that it costs me nothing to be loving...and that the end results of my generosity are far better than the results of being closed and fearful.

By stepping out of my old patterns of co-dependent behavior by being loving, I am actually breaking those old patterns.

I can say no to something or someone and do this in a kind, loving and compassionate way--both for me and the other involved.

It only takes one small step sideways to create new possibilities. That is what I am doing now!

This is bringing me more growth, more love and a much broader perspective than I had previously. How exicting is that?

Time for Something New

I have been sitting with myself, sitting with my feelings...I have been listening to my heart and waiting for some new direction and guidance.

It is time to release all that does not serve me--shed it like a winter coat--and to open my arms and my heart to New Things!

Good things are coming! I can feel it.

I am opening wide the doors of my heart and placing a welcome mat outside. I am starting my Spring Cleaning!

Be well!

Holy Now

Dancing With Myself...

No, not the old Billy Idol tune...

I have found that, lately, I am arguing with myself! Part of me feels one way and the other part of me doesn't like or want to have that feeling. (Oh, the classic think/feel, double-bind!!) Is this the ego-driven part of me, or what? I don't really like this part of me...the ego is sometimes so delicate and sensitive. It really wants to insist that for me to have these feelings leaves me open, weak and vulnerable. In fact, ego believes that I will look pretty damn stupid having these feelings...

So, how am I going to lead myself in this little dance? Am I gonna be brave, and follow my heart? Or am I gonna wimp out and let my ego run the show? Can I believe in my heart? Have faith? Be patient? Trust myself and the Great, Big, Wide and Wonderful Universe to deliver to me the deepest desires of my heart?

Today, I am choosing to follow my heart. To trust. To have faith. To be gentle and kind with my too small and too fragile ego...

Let's see what happens!

Shed Your Heavy Weight...

and let your heart be light!



A dragonfly rests on my shoulder, night and day. (My guy is green, with lovely multi-colored wings and my freckles showing through!) He reminds me that everything is gonna be okay. In the jewel tones of his iridescent wings, I see the light that lives in all of us reflected there. It is the light of Spring, the light of growth, the light of Life. The time of hibernation is almost done...even if Phil did see his shadow. Both my heart and my body want to lighten things up!

I like feeling comfortable in my own skin. I love to embrace all the beauty of the physical body and relax into bliss. Soak in the tub. Dance. Exercise. Sweat and stretch.

As my body is transforming with raw foods and Pilates and yoga, I find my relationship with it is changing. My body is strong and flexible. It can do so much more than I used to believe! My body deserves love and care. Clean, live food and pure water. My body is divine and worthy of my devotion to its health and well-being. I love to dress in things offering comfort and softness to my skin...I like the way the fabric feels when it moves against my skin. I felt inspired by Rainbeau Mars to develop my own daily rituals to care for my own body and my own beauty.

My face now is not the face I beheld in the mirror when I was younger. Sometimes, I find that my skin hangs better from my bones and my features stand out more. I am still learning to love the face I see now in the mirror... (I have looked at this face for so long, I don't know if I have ever truly "seen" myself.)Soon, it will be time to show my face, to let the dragonflies dance, let them touch me and to allow their message to really sink in...and then let my light shine!

I look forward to dragonfly weather...the bright sun and the blue sky and the warmth that comes with Spring on my skin. It is a reminder to me that I am indeed a part of Life here on our Mother Earth and I have my place in the Grand Scheme of Things!

Faith

A President's Words of Wisdom

“In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing it, will make you less miserable now. I have had enough experience to make this statement.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Whatever it is that we believe, we make it so. And on this rainy day, I feel like turning inward and resting with my heart. Lately, my heart has ached and even felt heavy. I have experienced disappointment and a little frustration...and yet, I know it is only temporary! I have welcomed my guests and have asked them to teach me and to offer me their gifts. I know that they will soon be on their way...

Sorrow comes. Pain comes. Suffering is optional! (The more we fight the emotions that we don't like, the more we prolong their visit with us.)

Happiness does come again.

Open the door to Happiness, put out the welcome mat. Act in anticipation of Its visit. Just like the sun will be out again, Happiness will stand at the door.

Sing It and Bring It! (Thanks, Steve!)

We do have permission to have our feelings and our emotions...all of them. It is all okay. It is part of the journey. Bless it all. :) Love What Is.

Be well!

What Really Matters

At the end of the day, I often ask myself this question:

"Of all the things that are happening in my life, what is really going to matter once I have left this life and I am standing in the eternities?"

Is money going to matter in the eternities?

Is a broken dish going to matter in the eternities?

Is the latest gadget or trendiest clothes going to matter in the eternities?

No.

What is going to matter in the eternities? I think that the answer lies in our personal integrity and how we live within it. The answer is one that is given at the level of the heart.

I do know one thing that matters ~ and it matters each and every day. Not just on 14 February.

Here are some quotes from the Bard, Wm. Shakespeare:

" My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."

" They do not love that do not show their love."

" So long as I can breathe or I can see, so long lives your love which gives life to me."

" Love sought is good, but given unsought is better."

" Love from one side hurts, but love from two sides heals."

Everything is an expression of Love, if we choose to see it that way. Even the stuff that shows up to teach us, even the painful things and the things that we don't like or understand. Love is there, a seed planted, for some future opportunity to grow.

Whether or not the seed grows is up to us...and it is a choice.

Love is where you find It...Look for It Everywhere.

May Love have Its Way with YOU! (Thanks Sao!)

"be of love

a little more careful than of everything else. " ~ e. e. cummings

Happiness on My Mind

I have posted several things about being happy...because it is so important! Really and truly important.

One of the big lessons of 2008 for me was learning to allow myself to feel happy. To not feel guilty about putting my happiness first. (Something that I struggled with for many years in the past. It is easy to become addicted to feeling poorly, so watch out!)

Many people have talked about "The Secret" to creating and manifesting a wonderful life. I am going to share with you a secret that I don't think "The Secret" mentions.

How happy you are directly impacts whether or not you manifest that which you desire in your life and how well things work out...

The feminine mode of "be, do and have" demonstrates that the state of "being" influences the action and the end results. Our state of being matters! The happier you are, the more rich and abundant your life. (What is your natural state of being? What is your current state of being? How can you support your own happiness? How can you say "Yes!" to yourself and "Yes!" to your life?)

Choosing to be happy, to cultivate happiness, was the absolute best gift that I gave myself. I have had many people support my efforts. My dad told me to do whatever I needed to do to be happy. My children have allowed me the room to grow with them and to learn to be happy--I think that they have been my best teachers! Steve encouraged my pursuits. Marielle guided me on my path. My friends have contributed to all my wonderful wanderings in the land of being happy!

The more words of happiness, of love and of appreciation that are expressed for What Is in your life, the more you will experience greater happiness, love, joy and abundance.

Be well! Be Happy!

Just Remember...

Love yourself, no matter what!

Being happy is your most important job in life. :)

Life...

I think that a part of life means having issues. Or stuff. Or baggage. Perhaps it is the stuff of learning moments. As I ponder my life, I realize that I started on the path to healing things in a conscious way the summer before I turned 30. I began to realize that I didn't need to be perfect...life didn't, and still doesn't, work that way. And I knew that somehow, I was meant to be happy.

I have been into self-improvement, metaphysics, psychology and whatever else resonated with me, all in some kind of attempt to understand me. My life. My stuff. (Isn't it great to know that the only expert on me is me? Just like you are the expert on you!) It has been a journey of self-discovery...and a willingness to constantly learn myself in a new way.

Just as an observation, most of us unconsciously absorb the standards, the ideals, the belief systems and the expectations of our parents or guardians, institutions, organized religion and society at large. This happens to anyone who has been or who is in the process of being both socialized and civilized so that they are fit to play (well) with others. The amazing thing is so much of this stuff is unspoken! And not all of it necessarily applies! (Do we ever stop to question any of these old belief systems? Oh, look! It is only B.S. ;) )

Was my process to understanding this messy? Oh, you bet! I didn't like my childhood experiences and I didn't care for the pain I experienced at revisiting the things that didn't work for me. (People are accountable and responsible for their choices...so, I am not discounting my own experience...I just made a choice to grow because of it. I chose to use it as my stepping stone rather than the stone tied round my neck.) I chose to undertake various forms of therapy, healing, energy work and alternative modalities to get clear. I have read many books~and then turned around to apply what I learned from those things, to the best of my ability, to my day to day life. It has only been by my own willingness to face my issues that I have become more and more happy and more and more alive in my own life.

Issues can move us in the direction to heal. Pain can certainly be a huge motivating factor in healing. People show up--parents, teachers, friends, lovers, store clerks-to help us to learn, to grow, to experience and to heal.

The thing that prompted this post was having someone complain about the stuff in their life. Stuff is okay. Stuff is good. Stuff happens. Feelings just are--what we do with them is another story. Pain happens--to carve out space for joy and light--and suffering is optional. That, too, is a choice.

Healing is a choice...and if I can do it, so can anybody else!

I have always found this information from Stuart Wilde inspirational:

THE REALIZATIONS OF STUART WILDE
From Weight Loss for the Mind

If your personality were programmed to accept contradictions as natural, and if it did not react, you could not experience negative emotion or anguish.

The circumstances of life have no particular quality, either positive or negative. They are neutral. Don’t resist them, even the ones that scare you silly. When faced with adversity, buy the solution—not the emotion.
Teach that to others.

Don’t use emotion as a self-indulgent tool to attract attention or to make yourself and your ideas important. Instead, act powerfully and concisely. Be active. Create energy, give of yourself. Let others need you, rather than needing them and acting to win their approval.

All fear is nothing more than the ego’s expectancy of an upcoming contradiction. Most of it is not real. Dissipate its power by refusing to buy the emotion. Make fear your friend. Talk to it. Accommodate it as a helper and ally, and most of your fear will change or disappear completely.

To pine for an alternative past is a waste of energy. In the pristine world of your infinite spiritual self, there is no sin or negative energy. There is only compassion, learning, and unconditional love and forgiveness. Remind yourself and those around you of this fact. In the light of God, everything is healed and seen to be perfect.

Once you see that most anger is a theatrical routine, you can diminish it to the irrelevance it deserves. All anger comes from loss. All loss is a security issue. All security issues are various manifestations of ego. Understand that and most of your anger becomes unnecessary.

Confusion is a manifestation of an unsettled intellect. The intellect is dominated by the ego. So confusion is mostly the ego’s chatter harassing your life. Train the ego to ask fewer questions, and answer most of the others with, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Frustration stems from the hasty habit of allowing the ego to decide the timing and delivery of its desires. If you blindfold the ego with discipline and never show it the menu of life, it doesn’t bitch about the food—it is thrilled that you are eating to keep alive.

"There are Two Ways to Live Your Life.

One is stressed out. The other is...not." ~ Byron Katie

I think that this is a wonderful reminder to have each day. Stressing out is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Love is a choice. Peace is a choice.

I love this song, "Peace Today" by Faith Rivera. http://www.peacetodaymovie.com/

Right now seems like a very busy time for me, doing lots of things, learning lots of things and not as much time just "being." Just being is a very feminine thing, I feel. And it is very nourishing and nurturing for the soul. We all need this 'just being' time. It is life-giving!

"If the well is dry, the village doesn't drink."

Luckily, there is still a calm, still spot inside of me. I can find it when I focus on my breath, I can find it during meditation, I can find it when I am out in nature...and these days, I can find it when I stand at the window, looking out at nature. :) In all these moments, I can give water to dry ground and live juicy once more!

This busy time, this learning time, I believe, may actually be about letting go of things that aren't important so that I can focus on what is!

Adorning the Temple

Each day, so many things have pointed me in the direction of having fun! (Here is to throwing away all those old rules...and here is to having fun doing it!)

As a woman, there are so many ways to creatively express myself and who I Am...and to have fun doing it!

My friend Kathleen just got her hair done...now she has beautiful, "fun" hair. (You go, girl!)

My sister, Gilian, makes beautiful jewelry...some of it kicky, some of it definitely playful and all of it wonderful! (Check her stuff at Endless possibilities.)

I have been having fun with clothes...and for work, I can dress like a little yogi. (Never mind that I have only taken a grand total of 6 yoga classes!) How fun is that?

I cut my hair mostly off (complared to how long it used to be) so it curls up...and it wants to curl its own way. Usually, I fight it and try to make it behave. My new intention is to enjoy whatever my hair wants to do on its own each day, with no complaining. :) My sister is making me a new ring out of a gorgeous piece of peachy-colored tourmaline and I am going to enjoy every minute of wearing it. I am going to wear clothes that feel good to me, perform t-shirt surgery and make some stunningly fun new things to play with and wear...and I am going to take every opportunity to make my life fun!

I made the commitment this year to be conscious and "green" with personal care products. (It is more challenging than I thought!) I started eating mostly raw foods last year. I see that both of those commitments are also commitments to my health, to my creativity and to my life being FUN!

Saying "Yes!" to life means that it feels good, each and everyday. I don't always take the time or make the time to have fun. This is something I am working on...and it means owning who I Am~all of me, even when I want to hide the better parts of me. The sweetness, the softness, the warm and spicy bite of me, the juicy bits, the strength, the wisdom and the compassion. It sometimes feels easier to hide by trying to look like and act like everybody else.

The first step, for me, is to Adorn the Temple of my very own body. To embrace its strength and its beauty and its uniqueness. There are so many ways to do this...I am open to finding all of the possibilities that work for me!

How can you adorn your temple?

P.S. I saw this quote and loved it: "Ordinary things, consistently done, produce extraordinary results." ~ Keith Cunningham

Self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity. Make it a habit! And find out what happens...

Saying Yes To Life

"I imagine that yes is the only living thing." ~ e. e. cummings

What does it mean to say "Yes!" to Life?

Think about it! How many rules to we bog ourselves down with? You must sit very neatly, with your legs crossed just so. Good girls "don't." (Don't what? I am sure that I could imagine all sorts of things!) Don't eat finger food in public. Don't laugh too loudly in public. Don't wear short skirts. Don't forget the tights with the dress. Don't speak honestly and directly (be delicate). Don't wear heavy eye liner. Don't mix skin care lines and products. Don't wear big prints on a small frame. don't, Don't, DON'T! (Okay, so I made up some of those rules...I think most of us can get the point!)

Oh, please!

It is time to break all those old rules! What good are they anyway? They are all just stopping me from living a wild, honest, joyful, loud and HAPPY life.

If I want to say "Yes!" to me and "Yes!" to life, it is time to let go of all those silly, nonsensical old rules. Rules that my parents gave me (meaning to help me when I was little--and it did up to a point), rules that church gave me, that school gave me, that I picked up from fashion mags, my friends and society at large. And all for what? So that I can fit in? Fit in with what? So that somebody else can control me? So that somebody else can tell me how to live my life and what makes me happy, what makes me successful, what makes me ME?

Uh, hello? Does this really make any kind of sense?

So, it is time to practice this whole saying yes thing. I say yes to ME. I say yes to my friend Steve. I say yes to having new yoga experiences. I say yes to living creatively and simply. I say yes to living a much more honest, simple and down-to-earth life that is a true reflection of me. I say yes to owning my intuitive and healing abilities. (Yikes!)

Yes, it is time to "come out of the closet."

How many old rules do you still carry around? How many old rules do you still follow?

Is it time to give them up yet? Let it be a Sacred Offering to Life.

Dare to Live. Dance it! Sing it! BE IT!