Or, where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to!
Aveda, for an education in skincare. A green Beauty gig to further my skincare/life education, in more ways than one. An adult child moving overseas. Maturing, in different ways. Throwing off the chains of limitations in my thinking. Learning about bodies. Did you know we are made of cholesterol?
My personal experience at Aveda was great; I received a solid education and walked away with very positive feelings. My educator was knowledgeable and shared very generously. I learned a few other things as well. About myself. And others. Not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone is your friend, even if they act like they are. There is a weird sense of competition amongst some women. And some people just can’t handle it if someone is more talented, or popular, or whatever (fill in the blank) than they are. It was a big lesson for me, although I didn’t fully learn the lesson until later. Overall, the experience pushed me into being open to challenging myself and to let go of doubt and just do it. Book learning and memorization, while challenging at times, were the least of my lessons.
The green beauty gig was really, really what I wanted. I loved my job when I started out there. And I learned so much and met some really wonderful human beings. But. And it is always the Big But that follows you through life...and this one was mine. The dynamics there were unhealthy. I felt uncomfortable right away. And then after about a month, there was an incident. And at that point, I KNEW that I needed to leave. But did I listen? No! So, while I did actually continue my skincare education and expand my knowledge of Ayurveda and the skin specifically, really I learned far more about myself. I, of course, learned to listen to and trust myself more fully. I learned I can be way too open, trust the wrong people. I sometimes sabotage myself, without understanding that I am. And in some circumstances that remind me of past, unhealed trauma, I slide back into codependency and have some PTSD, as well. And I learned firsthand that I need to work on a new skill set. That last bit was certainly the most difficult for me. In that place, I feel like I was in survival mode, which changes you somehow. It certainly changed my perception of things. Now that I have taken a huge step back, things have shifted greatly.
My daughter came to visit for almost two weeks. It was wonderful to have her home. She hadn’t been back for a year and a half. That is way too long for me! And yet, she has her life and seems to be doing well. This makes me feel happy and that maybe I did something right as a parent. Maybe.
Thoughts are funny things. Some of us are so readily influenced and thrown off balance by others. And we allow this. We invite it, even. Cultivate your emotional, as well as your mental, focus. Keep things to yourself. Share only with truly supportive individuals. Build up your relationship with you until your core belief in you is shored up and strong. Not everyone has a childhood that promotes this. I didn’t and I have had a lot of catching up to do. And that is okay.
And bodies! Oh so interesting. And so, so different from how we’re taught. But that is going to take up a whole lot of time. So maybe just a video.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QPW3rbqWNu4
Thanks for reading!
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