To One of the Kindest, Sweetest, Most Warm, Loving & Intelligent people I know.
We've been together, you & I, for years now -- it's true. It's about time that we get clear & come clean on a few things. Well, I guess it's mostly me. I need to come clean on a few things.
First of all, I need to apologize to you. I feel so sorry for all the judgments, for the lack of appreciation, for the constant comparing & criticizing. (And you always fall so short when I do that!) Sorry for the lack of attention & regard for your needs. Oh how the list of my offenses grow! Sorry for not speaking your truth, for sometimes owning the truth of others instead. Sorry for not being present to you and for not being present with you. You have faced so much alone -- both the trials & challenges & the successes & triumphs that life has to offer each of us. Sorry for avoiding the pain, the small hurts, the woundedness.
The fault is mine.
You have done everything right & have attempted to steer me rightly over the course of many years as well. You've been dealing with a stubborn, immature being who has slowly been accepting responsibility for herself over these last few years.
As for the judgments, the clarity is that this has been going on long enough! Nothing is going to change things. Nothing. Things are just perfect the way they are; I might as well settle in & get comfortable. I might as well enjoy & give credit where credit is due.
So, here it is: Life is too short. Life is too short to care what other people think (yes, even at 12, 20 & 30 years old, it's still too short.) No one is going to die if you do what you love. Okay, so perhaps someone will be shocked silly, that's not the same thing! Allow the truth to shine through, & things might change. How many lives would change if you allowed your true beauty to shine through?
BTW, FUCK PERFECTION. It's really just making yourself small to fit into somebody's boxes...so they won't be uncomfortable in the face of your brilliance.
Cut your hair the way you want. Dress in a way that makes you feel the way you want to feel in your body & in your life. You have permission. Give yourself full permission & take it! Say yes to you! Say yes to your yes! And if it's not a "Hell Yes!" then it's a no...& you know just what that feels like.
Be a maker of mistakes! Let it be okay to be messy.
Be the Love that you are!
Be an agent of transformation & the true teacher that you are.
No More Comparisons. Own your beauty. Own your squishy bits. Own your lines & wrinkles. Those things provide the proof that you've been here. That you've had a life. That you, too, have been walking a path on Planet Earth.
You make a difference. You are surrounded by people who love you. People who find you beautiful & wise & compassionate.
Ageing is inevitable. Embrace it & be your best self from the inside out. The lines only accent your best features anyway & highlight the laughter & the joy that comes from loving yourself just the way you are. You are quirky, funny, intelligent, warm, kind, wise, & full of grace & truth. Let it be enough. Let yourself be enough & more than enough.
I love you!
(Happy 50th!)